Fear is a Bully
We all know a bully when we see him. But do you recognize the one that lives within? Our inner bully is the one that repeatedly invokes fear when we think about trying new things. He fills our mind with the constant chatter of negativity. He supplies every excuse imaginable when we seek to change. He tells us we’re not good enough or smart enough. Fear is a wicked thing. If we give it an opening, it can overtake and overwhelm us. It is only through character development that we can recognize fear for what it is, and learn to control it.
But we have to recognize it, for what it is.
[Tweet “If we turn around and face the bully, often times he goes away. “]
If we face our fear, and work through it, it often disappears.
What we feared the most was nothing at all but what we had built up in our minds.
Don’t put on fear or carry it on your shoulders. It will wear on you like an old coat! Shed the old complacency of the status quo. Be brave enough to try. Even when we make mistakes, we can confidently brush them off because we know that is just a part of life, and not the end of the world.
If you are tormenting or beating yourself up with your own words, and negative self-talk, you must catch yourself and stop! Don’t become your worst enemy, the inner bully that intimidates you into submission, who prevents you from trying to move forward.
So why not give your fear the boot, and go bravely, confidently into the New Year.
[Tweet “Stop letting fear bully you into being less than your vibrant self.”]
Exercise for Positivity
When you hear your inner bully, practice turning negative phrases into positive ones. For example:
(Negative) I will not be afraid -> (Positive) I will use all my intellect and savvy to face what is ahead.
(Negative) I won’t give in to worry -> (Positive) I will go confidently in the direction of my dreams. I will think for myself and analyze any situations in my path.
(Negative) I could never do that! -> (Positive) I will give it my best effort, because I am determined and very capable.
This is one of my favorite poems by Rudyard Kipling. Think about what could happen if you could be the Master of your future, and check your fears at the door.
by Rudyard Kipling
If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:
If you can dream—and not make dreams your master;
If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build ’em up with worn-out tools:
If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings—nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And—which is more—you’ll be a Man, my son!